My post partum checks were concurrent with my babies’ 6 week check. Babe got a full check up. Doctor turned towards me and said “how are you?”…and after a verbal and polite “I’m fine”, the appointment was over.

I was never physically checked for anything. And with my second I had pretty bad post-partum with suicidal thoughts. But I didn’t want to talk about it at my baby’s check and I felt like if I admitted it, child services would be called and I’d lose my kid. In my better mental state now, I know it’s not true, but asking women to advocate for their own help at that stage is inadequate.

Editing to say that “I’m fine” is the Canadian default response to “How are you?”. It’s polite, not an answer. I have asked friends who are new moms, and only when pressed if they were actually alright did they break down bawling on the phone. So if you know a new mom, please take the time to talk to her rather than just coo over the baby. She’s been awake for 96 hours, she’s covered in puke, and her husband is wondering aloud whether the 6 week no-sex rule is real.