The lecturing on how we need to be better to achieve our supposed aims by making sure we don't hurt others' feelings is so common I don't know why. It has the same energy as when men complain to women or feminists telling them 'if you were a bit nicer, maybe I wouldn't be misogynistic'.

I'm having a hard time understanding why people engage with us in that way. Do they think they are helping? Is it to put themself on some sort of moral high ground or to indicate the extent of how polite society works?

I don't engage negatively, but I can hardly blame comrades who do especially after one can see their patience wearing thin after several exchanges with similar rhetoric in sequence.