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suboptimal (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 22 hours ago by QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] WesternInfidels@feddit.online 90 points 21 hours ago

Q: So do you have any hobbies?

A: Well lately I've really gotten interested in routing VGA through unusual items!

Q: Ooooh, that's so hot right now

[-] njordomir@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

There are worse hobbies. There's also no shortage of items to try.

Ideas:

eyeglasses
braces
bra underwire
Freddy's hand
Edward Scissorhand's hand
fake flowers with a wire core
bread bag ties
beer cans
tire tread reinforcement
a knight in chainmail
Christmas tree tinsel
photoframe
tie clip
tooth fillings
a bicycle
a tricycle
chain link fence
chastity belt
hammer
aluminum wrapped baked potato

[-] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 24 points 21 hours ago

Well... I don't think it would be the weirdest thing I've done with my free time. Would probably barely rank in the top three.

[-] buffing_lecturer@leminal.space 21 points 20 hours ago

I'm listening.

[-] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 42 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Let's see:

Back in 2007 or 2008 I attempted to create a CPU architecture that directly uses Brainfuck as its instruction set. I had to put it on hold before it was completed because I had a custom FPGA development board with really bad documentation but if I ever get my hands on an affordable FPGA, it will get done eventually.
I've created a nonogram that solves to a rickroll QR code. I had to rely on the error correction because the exact pattern didn't result in a well-defined solution but I've recently learned about some more parameters that you can tweak on a QR code. So now I just need to acquire or more likely build a QR code generator that lets me manually control those parameters and an automatic nonogram solver so I don't have to manually solve a bunch of 25x25 nonograms to confirm they have a single solution.
My plan for tonight is to start porting a 22-year-old handheld game to a ~35-year-old home console. I've acquired a C compiler but will probably have to learn assembly for a CPU architecture that was barely used for anything else. There is no chance to ever share the resulting game without getting sued to hell and back again.
I've made chainmail bikinis for a couple of friends.
Edit: One more because it might be my magnum opus. Have you ever played KJumpingCube? That doesn't only work on grids but on arbitrary graphs. My friends and I chose a Risk board. Not a digital one. A real life physical Risk board with actual dice on every country that need to be turned by hand. A single game took us about 6-7 hours with the winning move alone taking up the last hour.

That's just what I comes to mind at the moment. I'm sure if I spend some time thinking or digging around old hard drives, I can find more.

[-] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago

This is excellent. This reminds me of when I couldn't get any hard requirements or specs for a back end tool that I was tasked with making, so to spite everyone, and maybe myself, I wrote it in brainfuck. It was rock solid for years, and then I left due to management actively preventing me from furthering my career. I still wonder how long that process kept being used before someone had to look into the source to make changes.

[-] stingpie@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

I've been working on developing a CPU architecture based around my own variant of lisp called "dollhouse lisp" the big twist is that DHlisp executes code by reducing a syntax tree, so all code is destroyed once it's been executed. It's a very elegant solution, but a very difficult implementation. (Especially when it comes to loops and garbage collection.)

[-] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Jumping Cubes is the kind of game that works really well on a PC and has super simple rules but is absolute hell in real life.

That game on the Risk board was fun, though. IIRC North America in particular tended to have those terrible chain reactions that just kept going and going.

[-] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 1 points 18 hours ago

I remember that Australia was the exact opposite. It has a single outside connection and once it reaches a stable state, it stays there. Every impulse that goes in will come out again and leave the inside unchanged.

[-] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 4 points 18 hours ago

So... how much fabric is in these chain-mail bikinis, exactly?
Because without any, they're basically going to be see-through, right? Not that I would complain.

[-] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 7 points 18 hours ago

No fabric at all, just metal rings and a bit of string. They are far from see-through though because they are pretty dense. If you’re close enough you can see a bit of… anatomy… but it’s more on the side of a coarsly knit sweater than transparent fabric.