Honestly I get where you're coming from with the gentle parenting approach, and I think some people use it as an excuse to not engage with crappy behaviour. But I think kids whining and behaving a bit crappy is normal, and they're often expressing complex feelings that they haven't learned to understand and manage, and that they don't know how to explain. Maybe kids that learn to suppress that behaviour at a young age, through fear of punishment, or being shunned and isolated (eg 'go to your room') may go on to be adults who supress their feelings and don't express and advocate for their needs and. I guess we'll see won't we, as this generation of kids gets older. And some other parenting style will be the 'correct' one by the time they have kids. My niece is going through a really annoying whiney and whingey phase and it makes her very exhausting to be around at the moment, so I do sympathise with where you're coming from!