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this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Having grown up in a sauna culture as a bigger woman there's been incredible anxiety around this social norm all my life, especially when I was younger and bullied for the way I look. I know countless others who also hate it.
These days I just refuse social gatherings where it's in the plan which means it causes exclusion even when nobody notices. The people you see in the saunas aren't people with body image issues, we aren't there. And when we are, we notice the looks. The worst types are the joint saunas like steam saunas for all where the men typically intentionally park themselves so they can look at boobs or otherwise be disgusting.
The idea of going naked to the sauna with everyone from random co-workers to some workout buddies you just met as a SA victim is also pretty shit. Add a few scars from life on your body and I don't know what this is supposed to equalize.
You are never not pestered about skipping it in social gatherings by people who have zero insecurities around their bodies. You are forced to explain or have an excuse about why you are skipping it. Mine has always been my long hair taking a long time to dry or already having my make up on as these often happen in gatherings where going out is in the plans for later.
Fucking hate it.
Sorry to hear you went through all that, comrade. This is why it's good to hear from everyone's perspectives.
Yeah I mean imagine expecting this from people not comfortable with their assigned gender for example, people with disabilities or whatever it may be. As a norm it is asked from everyone, the ones who skip the sauna are always asked to justify why.
It definitely fits the supposed "consensus culture" that is common in a country like mine, it translates to a total inability by the majority to see the margins or consider that not everyone enjoys or is comfortable with a thing that everyone is supposed to do and enjoy. It is also fundamentally a gender issue as a whole.
“Consensus culture” just helped me understand something about Finland that I couldn’t quite put to words yet. For a supposedly politically forward thinking country, I have found a surprising lack of imagination and vision from people when you learn about their politics. I guess it’s because it would break an illusion of consensus that makes people feel like they are on the good side.
In a way, I prefer the US where people are more direct about their ignorance, maybe even taking it as a virtue, rather than how Finns seem to pretend to be woke when they aren’t
Yeah. It's a complicated result of very particular ruling ideology being drilled into the population over a few centuries. I should do an effort post about it. There are colonial features to it for sure.
It is why there are no meaninful protest, everything is depolitized, everyone is "equal" in the worst possible way. I need to write about it as the reasons for it are pretty interesting, depressing and eye-opening.
I would be very interested to read that if you where to write such a post. I live in a country that’s somewhat in between the US and Finland where liberal politics is depoliticised but due to cultural exchanges with the US and other colonized states we do have small protest subcultures
Would you be willing to expand a bit more on the gender issue?
I can only speak from my own experience, but having to do the sauna for example in puberty and especially mixed in with various extended family or family friends there was always an awareness of a power differential and the male gaze definitely happened even though in my culture the sauna supposedly isn't a sexualized space. But men would definitely look at you. You'd also get the cringe "I can wash your back" comments.
In public saunas there tends to always be a few creeps that everyone knows about. Being in that space as a woman can feel unsafe or just gross.
In Finland you also are to be fully naked in a sauna, for example in a swimming hall. Going in in a bathing suit or wrapped in a towel is allowed for people with a disability only and this is why my stepkid who is trans doesn't go in them anymore. The saunas are obviously separated to mens/womens, there is no gender neutral option.
Thanks for the response! though I am confused on a couple parts, are the saunas only separated in swimming halls and also you can't wear a bathing suit while swimming or is it just in the sauna?
It's only the sauna where you are to be fully naked. Separated saunas are common in gyms, hotels, swimming halls. Basically most public saunas.
Then you have a few mixed ones where you are allowed to wear a bathing suit or a towel, these usually involve open water swimming.
Oh ok thank you
I have a similar experience with shared showers for sports teams being trans. I never participated and my teammates thought I was weird because of that. I didn’t know I was trans but I did know I felt highly uncomfortable in my body and didn’t want anyone else to see it.
Still I think that there is a way to create a healthy culture around nude activities, but we should probably focus first on destroying capitalism and liberalism before trying to find out if reforming culture towards being more accepting of nudity is a good thing. Currently such culture will sadly be used to exploit women and children and oppress people who don’t fit in society norms.
Sorry about that.
FYI this post was meant to be a little tongue in cheek, I made it mostly cuz I just got back from a sauna and enjoyed it. I do think there's maybe some truth in what I said but I also get it clearly wouldn't work for everyone.
Fair enough, I probably reacted a bit harsh as I took it at face value at first and have heard the argument before from people who are oblivious to how complex body image can be.
And I agree that there probably would be better ways to do it in an ideal world where nudity wouldn't be as delicate and as polized and there'd be less of a power difference in these spaces. But as it is now, I love going to the sauna with my partner, but don't feel safe if I have to do it with strangers.
Yeah that's cool. Glad we can agree that saunas are nice.
They are the best, waiting for our weekly sauna turn in about an hour actually.
I do love the Soviet block apartment building sauna reservation system where everyone gets to do sauna without owning one themselves.