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this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Having grown up in a sauna culture as a bigger woman there's been incredible anxiety around this social norm all my life, especially when I was younger and bullied for the way I look. I know countless others who also hate it.
These days I just refuse social gatherings where it's in the plan which means it causes exclusion even when nobody notices. The people you see in the saunas aren't people with body image issues, we aren't there. And when we are, we notice the looks. The worst types are the joint saunas like steam saunas for all where the men typically intentionally park themselves so they can look at boobs or otherwise be disgusting.
The idea of going naked to the sauna with everyone from random co-workers to some workout buddies you just met as a SA victim is also pretty shit. Add a few scars from life on your body and I don't know what this is supposed to equalize.
You are never not pestered about skipping it in social gatherings by people who have zero insecurities around their bodies. You are forced to explain or have an excuse about why you are skipping it. Mine has always been my long hair taking a long time to dry or already having my make up on as these often happen in gatherings where going out is in the plans for later.
Fucking hate it.
Sorry to hear you went through all that, comrade. This is why it's good to hear from everyone's perspectives.
Yeah I mean imagine expecting this from people not comfortable with their assigned gender for example, people with disabilities or whatever it may be. As a norm it is asked from everyone, the ones who skip the sauna are always asked to justify why.
It definitely fits the supposed "consensus culture" that is common in a country like mine, it translates to a total inability by the majority to see the margins or consider that not everyone enjoys or is comfortable with a thing that everyone is supposed to do and enjoy. It is also fundamentally a gender issue as a whole.
“Consensus culture” just helped me understand something about Finland that I couldn’t quite put to words yet. For a supposedly politically forward thinking country, I have found a surprising lack of imagination and vision from people when you learn about their politics. I guess it’s because it would break an illusion of consensus that makes people feel like they are on the good side.
In a way, I prefer the US where people are more direct about their ignorance, maybe even taking it as a virtue, rather than how Finns seem to pretend to be woke when they aren’t
Yeah. It's a complicated result of very particular ruling ideology being drilled into the population over a few centuries. I should do an effort post about it. There are colonial features to it for sure.
It is why there are no meaninful protest, everything is depolitized, everyone is "equal" in the worst possible way. I need to write about it as the reasons for it are pretty interesting, depressing and eye-opening.
I would be very interested to read that if you where to write such a post. I live in a country that’s somewhat in between the US and Finland where liberal politics is depoliticised but due to cultural exchanges with the US and other colonized states we do have small protest subcultures