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The new adult life
(lemmy.zip)
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this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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It's not too late to change your ways.
Oh sure, lemme just pull out all this disposable income and time I have for drinks, cab fair. Yea its definitely within budget to spend $50 round trip traveling + $50 buying rounds + $30 food + etc etc etc.
For sure I can do that 3-4 times a week to be social. That's only like ~$500 a week. Or ya know what, maybe we just cut down to like twice a week, thats only $1k a month. Who cant afford that, right?
Ya know what, maybe we just need to cut some costs. Hmmm cab fair is expensive, let's just drive! That's easier anyways, let's get drunk and drive a couple days a week because we cant afford to be responsible AND sociable...
EDIT: actually, know what, I thought up another way to save some money. Lets save some money on food. We can't afford to be eating out all the time anyways. So yea, lets go out, drink on an empty stomach and drive home. Making some changes! Making friends! Going out and being social!
What's your monthly streaming bill? (Hoping you say $0 because YAAARRRRR!)
I'm not trying to presuppose everyone's lives or say they have to be a certain way. But we can do things to be with people that doesn't cost money or even involve drinking. I realize that I live in a very walkable, highly mass-transit-friendly, extremely accessible city. BUT, spending time with friends, playing games, riding a bike, walking, etc., are all ways to stop streaming and make changes.
I get it. You're trying to unseat my statement as insensitive to your plight. I meant it in good faith, though. There was a time before smart phones and limitless streaming. We hung out, we played music, we read books, we drew, we painted, we lived. We can still do it.
It's hard. I'm trying. I try to draw every day. I spend time writing for a D&D game I DM for. I write music and try to get through the dumb darkness we're living in. Streaming comes at the end of the night when I am going to bed.
Good luck. I wish more social life and socialism for everyone. :)
This is why trains are awesome.
You could just go to the park or some other free venue
The issue is getting others to do the same
Bro ur justifying being anti social to urself. Go out once a week with a group of friends get fucked up blow a couple hundred bucks its fine.
You can save money on food if you steal it and save money on alcohol if you steal it and drink somewhere you're not allowed to be instead of a bar and have a designated driver or use a bustrain which is just lots of busses hitched together but usually only like two anyway maybe learn something from queer culture this is why the second half of being gay is doing crimes it just seems like all your socializing is investing in conspicuous consumption stuff and you can just not 9r even get together with your friends to like build stuff or whatever I promise there's options
What?
Tldr be gay do crimes
That would require friends, which is a factor beyond my control...
Not 100% under your control, but certainly not "beyond control"
I can't control other people. Other people can choose to not be my friend, to not invite me anywhere, to not talk to me, to leave whenever I show up.
No, having friends is something beyond my control.
Honesty just be
The best way to meet people is to talk to random strangers you happen to see once and a while
Right, in a world where everyone seems to be saying "Don't bother strangers in public, nobody wants to be bothered!" I'm supposed to just go out and... talk to strangers... until I magically make friends?
So all the things people criticized me for in the past (i.e., talking to strangers who apparently didn't want to be bothered) are now precisely what I'm supposed to do to overcome the symptoms of the social rejection I experienced from being labeled as someone who talks to strangers in public?
Yeah, I'd rather die alone than twist my brain into knots trying to decode that jumbled mess.
Having specific friends maybe, but get out there and you're guaranteed to find someone who's on your sine.
You're seeing the consequences of young people growing up during COVID. It is very, very difficult to unlearn what we were socialized for in our youth.
For most people who experience this, it literally is too late to change their ways. It's possible but requires extreme effort and likely years of therapy.
There's no amount of well meaning aphorisms older generations can pull out to make this better. It is a public mental health crisis and needs to be treated as such, not treated as individual failure.
I think the biggest issue is that we have shifted culturally. People still need social connection but from a cultural perspective it is less appropriate to be social.
I think change is easier than people think as it is just a matter of forcing yourself to break cultural norms.