164
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
164 points (98.2% liked)
Asklemmy
43965 readers
1311 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Sounds like you're like me then: a personable introvert.
I'm good at faking being a social butterfly when I have to as well and generally treat people kindly and considerately but yeah, it really IS draining to deal with people for long periods of time and I tend to avoid it when I can do so without stepping on anyone's toes..
See, that's the main thing that differentiates introverts. A lot of introverts trend to being quiet and unsocial, but it's because they've learned that it's exhausting. Then there's the lot of us who, for whatever reason, have been forced to push through and do it anyway.
Being social is a skill you have to develop, and since we've had to put in more work, we can be pretty good at it. When I'm in a social situation I can turn it on. My defense mechanism when I'm feeling uncomfortable is to shut my brain off and let that social muscle memory take over and I become super charming. Or I have to take over a meeting because I'm the only one who actually understands the topic and can communicate it. I can do it, and I'm good at it. But as soon as it's over I can feel my brain deflate. Sometimes it uses all my spoons and I know immediately that I'm not going to get anything else done the rest of the day because an early surprise meeting showed up on my calendar.