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I helped out a homeless shelter in Starfield
(hexbear.net)
Tabletop, DnD, board games, and minecraft. Also Animal Crossing.
Rules
Did you try Space Engine? Sounds like something that might be for you as it's aiming for maximum realism. The spaceflight part was kinda underdeveloped last time I played it but you can fly ships if you want to.
Also Elite Dangerous has realistic distances between planets too.