So, I have a friend who is always doing something or getting caught in some situation that leads to embarrassment. He’s legendary for it.

When I first moved out on my own, he was my roommate. My other roommate got one of the first really nice digital cameras and he got a kick out of popping doors open and taking random pictures of him because it got on his nerves.

Roommate with the camera came home early from work one day and noticed that the other roommate came home early too. He snuck in, popped his door open and snapped a pic.

I wish I could describe it so that you can see it clearly in your head.

He was sitting on the bed bent like Gollum, dick in his right hand, pointing toward the camera with his left hand, angry eyes, mouth opened half angry half surprised, a glob of nut floating in midair. “DELETE IT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!”

When I got home they were still fighting about it. Cameraman was joking about using it for blackmail.

The camera ended up stolen not long after with the picture still on there. I still tease him nearly 20 years later and say, “One day the thief is gonna upload that picture.”

Another time I came home early to walk into my own bedroom where I found him sitting completely naked at my desk using computer with headphones on tugging. “Why are you here!?” He said. “Why are you in my room doing this!?” I asked. “I’m so sorry. My computer won’t boot. Bro, please don’t tell anyone.”

If I ever feel embarrassed about anything I just think of a situation he’s been in. I know I’m good.