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By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).
I think you have greatly underestimated how heavily into the "find out" spectrum cows are in the "fuck around" context.
Would I be able to kill it without being injured? Of course not. Would I be able to kill it without being killed? I think so.
I agree with above on underestimating what is effectively an economy car that can decide to hate you and is far better at being able to parallel park on top of your body if you're going in without a weapon.
I've never considered that cows pretty much just decide not to hate us Thanks for the fun insight into cow psychology
They can never know what we do to their peers