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Instant Messengers Analysis and Comparison
(privacy.awiki.org)
Privacy has become a very important issue in modern society, with companies and governments constantly abusing their power, more and more people are waking up to the importance of digital privacy.
In this community everyone is welcome to post links and discuss topics related to privacy.
much thanks to @gary_host_laptop for the logo design :)
yeah I agree that XMPP is currently the best option.
But SimpleX is also self-hostable, you can configure it to only connect to your own relay server. Or just use .onion servers. So SimpleX is a close second IMO.