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this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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US Presidential Elections will now be decided by Willy Wonka rolls.
"Biden does pushups. That only proves he's not dead. I mean - still live but not strong and powerful. Strong and powerful but Trump is limber too. Limber - funny word. Sounds like 'timber' but no wood. And any time I want - I can do a Willy Wonka roll." Some in the audience start yelling out "Now!" Trump pauses. The "Now!" has becomes a chant. He is slightly annoyed. "Not now - I'm wearing a suit. But any time I want - I can do a Willy Wonka roll..."