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this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Typically folks either pick what they like best or pick what's recommended by the service they're trying to run. (Remember, typically you run one service per VM, so everything about the VM can be tailored to that service. That's pretty much the whole point of virtualization -- so that you don't have to get multiple services cooperating on the same machine.)
My default go-to would be Debian, but again, it's really a matter of personal preference.
GUIs take up disk space, RAM and CPU cycles, so it's more efficient not to have them (especially when you're virtualizing and therefore running separate copies per VM). However, this is 2023, not 1993, so it's not that big a deal.
The advantage would be that you could administer the VM and the service inside it using a GUI, if you're into that sort of thing.
In general, most services are designed to be administered over SSH or via a web interface, so a GUI shouldn't be necessary. Also, in general you ought to be scripting the administration of your VMs themselves using e.g. Ansible, so a GUI shouldn't be necessary for that, either.