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Besides lemmygrad and explodingheads which are truly legitimate cases, defederation just hurts everyone. New users just expect to sub to the communities they like on reddit. That includes NSFW because that simply is something people want, and it never was an issue on reddit. The whole discussion on larger lemmy is childish and prude.
And about the developers, lemmygrad is largely isolated, but lemmy.ml is not and those same tankies run that. In fact its also the only lemmy instance that blocks all kbin instances via blocking the kbin user-agent. The development is also still largely steered by those tankies.
The NSFW stuff was/is a bit more complicated than it might appear on the surface. A lot of instances do not allow NSFW. No judgement, it is what it is. But people on those instances could sub to NSFW communities elsewhere, primarily LemmyNSFW. Less so now, but for a while it was common for those posts/communities to not be tagged NSFW, which caused them to show up on All for people that didn't want to see it.
Then there was the question about types of NSFW content. Even people that enjoy your standard porn categories had lines they didn't want crossed in their feed. Specifically animated/cgi CSAM and scat. The former is illegal in some jurisdictions, and caused a different instance (name withheld) to be widely defederated. The latter was more of an issue with limited tools, but the result was the same- either LemmyNSFW blocks that (at least until better tools are available), or they also get cut off.
I am not even speaking about LemmyNSFW and the discussion around what should be allowed on there and the discussion if they allow CSAM or not. It hit me when my favorite furry focused instance got blocked from feddit.de which was my home on lemmy because it has two mild NSFW communities on there. Nothing illegal, nothing legally questionable. Still de-federated.
Sounds like you joined one of the anti-porn instances. I can't read German, so I can only guess that the rules say that, but it's not obvious on Join-Lemmy. I really wish they'd include some meaningful detail on their standards for fed/defend, since that's what really matters. Instead we have that garbage about matching your values, and each one has a one-liner about who they are.