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"Maybe abusing them harder will work?"
Imo this type of gendered violence is largely facilitated by the capitalism. As more and more wealth and power are extracted from the working class, the burdens on the working class are greater and greater, and things like homeownership and being able to afford having children are increasingly out of reach. The capitalist class responds to this by basically saying "Just have children anyways and be poor about it. Work harder and give me more profit and more coerced laborers." Like, a lot of people who don't have kids would like to, they just want to give their kids a good standard of living. But instead of allowing the common people to have the fruits of their labor, the capitalist class keeps those for themselves. And so the common people are left in this place where for many there's not money and time for relationships, homeownership, kids, etc. Men who don't have a good class and feminist analysis end up blaming this on women, and women who have any other options don't want to put up with these vile abusers. Men with violent incel energy don't stop having that energy once they're married, in a relationship, or sleeping with someone; instead, they'll continue to use their misogyny to blame women for the problems created by the capitalist class.
The labor of women, while downplayed in value under capitalism, is actually very vital to the system continuing. Women are expected to create and raise children, run the household, do a huge amount of logistical and organizational labor, and appease men and basically comfort them and ameliorate the negative affects of capitalism on the men. Women are expected to provide sexual gratification, emotional support, free time, meals, and a clean and pleasant living space, in addition to caring for the needs of children, organizing household affairs, and having a career. That's a lot. Women are one of the dumping grounds for labor under capitalism, expected to do the same work in careers as men plus all the other labor that is trivialized under capitalism, but very important for the propagation of capitalism.
I expect these types of gendered conflicts to continue. I hope people as a whole will figure out that the class element is important too. It would be great if we could have all genders of the proletariat working together in harmony to take back what capital has robbed us of, and establish a culture of consent.
It's also fascinating to see how these women and women elsewhere, are, to some extent, going on strike from gendered labor to men in their personal lives. But unlike a strike, there's not necessarily provisions or conditions for change. They're refusing to participate in the shitty capitalist gender norms to the extent that they can.
Imo this is 100% why republicans are going to make the next battleground the banning (or at least heavy restriction) of birthcontrol and sex ed in schools