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At the end of the day, you will still have to answer the root question(s) for yourself to yourself in order to resolve it for you. I admire your open-mindedness, but I worry that the post here is your way to avoid answering the deeper questions.
Maybe I am, but I don’t think I am, avoiding answering the question. I think there is no universal answer. Having been raised protestant and pushed away from organized religion by the obstinate idiocy that is the way so many people believe in steadfast rules of morality that have no room for exceptions (i.e. abortion is ALWAYS bad), I have come to realize there are things and concepts of value to humanity that are constantly at odds with each other. Regardless, the value of those things cannot be quantified by scalar values, and therefore cannot be directly compared. For example, human life is valuable, but what about when human lives are directly at odds with one another, like a fetus in the womb of a person who doesn’t have access to enough resources to take care of a baby? The correct course of action to take depends on an infinite number of factors, and those factors are undeniably affected by whichever person perceives them. I believe this to be the reason that the Bible itself contains directions for how, and describes at least one situation in which, to perform an abortion.
I don’t believe that morality is relative, I believe there are things and concepts that will always have value and importance to humanity, but I believe that the value of those things and concepts is relative given each scenario.
Putting it this way, the answer to my question about justifying violence becomes a question of the way the situation that could lead to violence is perceived by each person in the situation. So there is no objective way to determine the answer. And I hate that, but it does bring me some peace. We have to do the best we can with what we have. If our best is bad, then so be it, but we can prepare ourselves for certain situations so our best can be better than it would be otherwise.
I have no idea if any of what I just said made any sense, but it helped me clarify my thoughts. Maybe it’ll help someone else.
From what you're saying, it seems to me that you are well on your way to building your own view. It does sound like you are thinking it through and not putting it off.