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Ask Lemmy
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I only used Reddit and none of the others and so far Lemmy has been a decent replacement but I'm nowhere near as active. I had a nice curated setup and it's just not possible yet to have the same experience on here.
Same here. One of the biggest issues is that Lemmy is currently terrible at surfacing content from niche communities: no weighted activity, no "multi-reddit-syle" community grouping - pretty much any main view mode is dominated by a few large communities only. This makes the death of the small communities a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The next version of Lemmy is making some very tepid improvements in that regard, but it's nowhere near enough.
With larger communities I just bookmark them instead of subscribing now because , like you say, the main feed just becomes useless. Also the amount of cross-posting doesn't help.