As a neurodivergent person I recommend becoming acquainted with the dance floor.

Like a story about a cat with a good friend: short but memorable

Not late late, just late enough that the host has had time to make sure everything is in order, or just to not be the first guest to show up.

Usually a party lasts at least a few hours, so showing up 30 minutes after the start of the party isn't "being late," it's just showing up to a party in progress. Unless it's a specifically scheduled "arrive at 8pm" kind of affair, in which case the host would mention it and you'd be expected to be there at that time.

Because arriving at a party when there's not many people around can be awkward especially if you aren't already friends with the host. So you wait for more people to arrive first.

I imagine it’s an even looser norm in places outside the west, considering the west tends to view time/punctuality as more “concrete” than some others. For some of my friends born outside the west, if we tell them the actual start time of an event we shouldn’t expect them any sooner than an hour after that lol.

It's a really weird thing and something you should carefully consider based on the type of party. The 15 minutes late advice only really applies to getting drunk parties in college.

I mean, it doesn’t sound fun written out in bullets but parties are usually a great time for my own socially anxious neurodivergent ass lol. That said, besides work events, I haven’t gone to a party where I don’t already know most of the people in years. Jumping alone into a convo of strangers is my hell.

As a neurodivergent, I get through these events by pretending to be an alien anthropologist trying to blend in and study humans. Conversations are usually easy to start by asking, "So, how do you know the host?" Most people enjoy talking about themselves, so if you nod and listen, you'll be popular.

Occasionally you'll meet someone truly interesting. Arrange to meet with them later and follow up. This is pretty much the best way to make friends in the modern age, with intentionality.

At the "talk and socialize" bullet, I was imagining sidling up to some group I don't know, eavesdropping on their conversation, and standing there like a creep trying to figure out the best time to say anything relevant to contribute, but failing and standing awkwardly in silence until I just walk away.

I'll stay home, thanks.

Good parties are wonderful, the type of party described above does sound miserable but you can choose which parties you want to attend. Personally I like parties that revolve around board games and interesting conversations where the only real social rule is to bring something: cheeses, an appetizer, weird booze, just something so all the provisions aren't the sole duty of the host.

I'm ADHD, never investigated but scoring high on ASD assessments. It can be fun, with the right people. It wholly depends on who's there. I'm usually with the people sitting outside, having fun conversations over a beer and/or a joint. It's just the genetic term for "gathering where there's food and substances". You'll find that you can often meet other NDs overwhelmed by the amount of people and music waiting for you over there. Chill times.

Own it!

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am I good at dancing

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