They’re onto me dude, those guys are sharp as nails up there. They keep asking for my name, they know I’m lying, you can’t put anything past them! I’m freaking out, I’m so stressed out, I feel like I’m having a panic attack.

You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! OK! I've stumbled onto a major world-altering power, Mac—how 'bout that for stress?

What the hell are you talking about?

People are getting slaughtered like pigs, Mac, and I’ve got a paper trail to prove it [Goes to a wall covered in paper and string] Take a look at this.

Jesus Christ, Charlie!

That right there is the death note. Now let's talk about the death note. Can we talk about the death note, please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the death note with you all day, OK? "Kira," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Kiras victims are popping up. Kira! Kira! I go to the police, and the whole place is run by Kira! So I say to myself, "I gotta stop this guy! I gotta go up to his house and take the notebook out of the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to stop and he's going to keep killing people." So I look into Kiras identity and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Kira. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Kira? You gotta be kidding me! I got entire task forces chasing Kira! All right. So I start marchin' my way down to Light in HR and I knock on his door and I say, "Light! Light! I gotta talk to you about Kira." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Light in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This place is a goddamn ghost town.

OK, Charlie I'm going to have to stop you right there. Not only do all of these people exist, but they've been asking for their mail on a daily basis. It's all they're talking about up there. Jesus Christ, dude, we are going to lose our jobs.

All right, well, fine. You know what, Ryuk? Give this guy a cigarette, he's freakin' out. [Turns to a ghoulish creature with staring at him]

Huh? Who?

Ryuk. He's the one who tipped me off to Kira.

Ryuk? Who the hell is Ryuk?

You don't see the...[Looks around and Ryuk's disappeared] Holy shit! Where the hell did he go? [Yello's "Oh Yeah" comes on in the background]

You've lost your mind! You've lost your goddamned mind, Charlie. [Cha. Chika-chika!]