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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy
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It's really easy to think that you're a burden because of x, y, or z when, in reality, the people around you don't notice or care about x, y, or z.
It's also possible that the people around you are actually burdening you by ignoring your needs, and you happen to feel guilty because you're being manipulated.
If you have undeniable proof that you hurt other people significantly, and a random stranger would agree that there's no justification for the harm you caused, then see a psychiatrist. It seems to me that you have good intentions but have something that's stopping you from being your true self. A psychiatrist and/or a therapist can help you remove those barriers.
Suicide devastates a lot more people than you realize, so if you want to do it for other people, you shouldn't do it at all. If you want to do it for yourself, I think you should give yourself another shot by starting meds and seeing a therapist. It's wild how much of a difference it makes.
If you want more info on mental healthcare, check out HealthyGamer/Dr. K on YouTube and Twitch. His medical input is US-centric, but he's a really good resource.