It's alright, there's no rush. My first instinct would've been to help with money, but you mentioned you didn't want to do online philanthropy (which there's no shame in asking for, if you ever change your mind).

Your community sounds incredibly insensitive, with how your extended family and community treats you. There is strength in numbers and you only have two people in life. If leaving is out of the question, I would gather everyone else who disagrees with how the community is run. There must be more, and every hole in a bad system must be exploited, in every sense of the word. A system that is reliably bad can be relied on to be bad in one's favor. I might disagree with other Lemmings on most things, but they'd be surprised at how familiar I am with the system.

In times like these (which I can at least partially relate to), the one thing I'm grateful for is my dog.