Anyone just starting out will be extremely sensitive to THC, those intense feelings would subside over time as you got used to/built tolerance to being high.

I recommend you start off with an extremely low thc potency strain something with a thc% of 5-10%. Industrialhempfarms.com specializes in low potency high quality thc-8 bud for people who dont want to get super high but want to relax. Smoke on some low potency stuff and slowly experement to find your personal sweet spot.

Thc-8 bud is federally legal too if you live in us, meaning you can just order it in bulk online super cheap and have it come in the mail worry free. IHF lab test all their bud too BTW.

The strain matters. For relaxation stick more with indica strains, hybrid if you cant find any indica. sativa tends to be more for high energy and body high which sounds like the issues you are having. Being too high in general can cause those effects but its a lot easier to get there with sativa strains. Sometimes you want those kind of feelings especially when doing outdoor stuff.

The next thing I recommend is if you are in a decent off financial position check out the arizer air max portable dry herb vape. Dry herb vapes offer many advantages to conventional smoking, including letting you adjust temperatures which release different cannabanoid vapors at different degrees. A low temp light vapor smoke wont hit as hard, and you can up the temp to find a zone you like.The smoke is a lot cleaner and the bud last a lot longer (though there is nothing quite like a bowl hit). If you find your lungs are hurting and want some better control over smoke try dry herb vapes. Arizer is the brand to get, they are a little pricy but have good sales very often if you keep your eyes on it a sale will come up sooner than later. Order from their official website arizer.com

Last thing I recommend is you mix in some lavender with your herb at first just sprinkle a bit on top but if you like it you can do 50/50 mix. Lavendar in my experience has an enterouge effect with pot boosting relaxation effects and provides a unique taste.