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Matchless in the Digital Age
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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Try being on the apps for a year without a match. Really helps boost the old self esteem.
Do young people not go places to meet new people anymore? I haven't been single since dating apps got real popular, but I still feel most people who partner up probably aren't meeting on the Internet.
I haven't been single in a long time, but any time I go out there always seems to be single women looking for company, at least enough to try hitting on a dude with a ring.
Where exactly am I supposed to meet people, the grocery store? I could go to bars but I don't drink. People always say to join groups or meet people through hobbies but all of my hobbies are complete sausage fests. Dating people you work with is usually a bad idea but that doesn't matter anyways because almost all of the people I work with are men. People say just meet more friends but I already have more friends than I can keep up with. Actually most of those friends are even women. But none of them are around my age, single, and interested in dating me.
I'm starting to become convinced that single women who are my age don't actually exist. I'm not sure what bank vault the government is keeping them locked up in but it certainly isn't anywhere I go. The dating app minefield is the only place I've even been able to find women who are around my age. Like I legitimately don't know where they all go. It's baffling. They just don't seem to exist anywhere outside of dating apps.
I'm not trying to discount any of your feelings or experiences, I went through this same thing for years until I met my current (and first) gf; for context I was 28 when we started going out.
I hated hearing it when I was in your situation but it's always been true for me, work on yourself and keep yourself open and things will eventually happen. I gave up trying to find a girlfriend when I was 27 after years of striking out irl and on dating apps and decided to focus on myself. I was starting a graduate program and got a cool public art opportunity through my city so I just put all my energy into that which helped me focus less on tinder and my lack of sex (kinda) . One day this girl I worked with dumped her loser boyfriend and after several failed attempts to ask her out (I'm bad at putting things down, she's bad at picking things up) i finally had a date. Four years later and she's begging me for a ring.
Life is tough and even harder when you don't have someone to experience it with. Again, I don't know your situation and I don't want to just be another asshole saying things will get better cause I fucking hate those people when I was sad and lonely, but I genuinely do believe good things come to those who wait. Keep yourself open to new experiences and listen to your gut if it's telling you to take a chance.
Or tell me to stfu, that's cool too I get it and won't be upset.
That's actually kinda reassuring to hear because I'm 27 and I have already given up on dating for a while so hopefully I'm just following in your footsteps. Also to your sex point that one isn't my issue because sex isn't something I care much about anyways (ace spectrum). It would just be nice to have someone to do stuff with.
But like I said dating hasn't been a real focus of mine for a few years now anyways. I just get reminded of it when I see threads like this.
Glad I could offer a bit of reassurance man, all the best going forward.
My parents met in their early forties, both years after first divorcing. You have a lot of time, if you just want someone to spend your later years with. Depends on what you want out of a relationship.