Okay.

Laptop: I want a ~13 inch laptop with a nice keyboard, a decent trackpad, and a quality 1080p LCD screen, with a very efficient low power ARM processor akin to a Raspberry Pi running some well tested flavor of Linux, and the rest of the machine is just battery. Something that can do some web browsing, some word processing, spreadsheet, let me use bash and vim and ssh and such, that doesn't suck to use because it's "for early adopters and serious hackers only." Like imagine the machine you'd get if the Pinebook Pro legitimately cost $600 rather than $200, is what I think I want.

Phone: I want a 4.5 inch phone with a physical slide-out keyboard that has modern, performant internals that can smoothly run its own UI plus reasonable web browsing and communication/text app capacity. It should be able to play 720p video from the internet flawlessly (this would be a perfectly fine resolution for the screen) and it should have at least 4000 mAH of battery. Any camera from any phone I've owned in the last 10 years is acceptable.

Audio Equipment: I want ANR over the ear headphones that provide enough ANR and/or PNR that I can use them as hearing protection in the wood shop while I'm using my planer or router or whatever, that work perfectly well over normal bluetooth, that have all physical button controls, no touch sensitive whatever, and do not have any kind of app.