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this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy
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I have a few, but the most commonly misunderstood of these… I don’t even know if it has a name. I’m just socially slow and people assume I’m an introvert because of it.
Made worse because schools put people in special education classes for social issues, they can’t comprehend for some reason that people just don’t all socialize the same way.
It’s not all that uncommon either if you believe in the statistic that the average person lies a hundred times a day. WHY do they lie a hundred times a day? Because of exchanges like this.
“Hello.”
“Hi.”
“Hey, how are you today?”
“Good, just finished washing the dishes.” (lie to keep the conversation alive)
Which means our society, by training people to value sociability more than friendliness, are breeding its own compulsive liars. And on a side note, that brings us to another ill people don’t understand, because people think compulsive lying is a “bad seed” kind of thing when our environment (and sometimes the rebound after being 100% honest for a long time) can make us that way.
It is completely 100% ridiculous to try to 'diagnose' you from this short of a description, but it could be that you're autistic to some degree.
Us autistic folks like to take moral issues a lot more personal, like having to lie. We're often at odds with societal standards. We may feel like we're socially slow, even though in my experience, it's usually just that we socialize differently. And we definitely overanalyze things.
You wouldn't be the first to suggest it's autism (and I thank you for your hoping to help), though I've asked doctors about that before and they say they themselves see little going for the theory I have autism (as opposed to, say, dyspraxia, dyslexia, and this which all are equally possible/probable/improbable as causes except the last one). I can relate to the societal standards part though, it was one of the thought processes behind a recent post of mine that seemed to have gotten a mixed response.
I do also have anhedonia, but I never 100% could confirm how much of a connection it has because of how differently it manifested based on the time of my childhood.
What? Are you saying your illness is lying? I'm not really following...
No, I'm saying it can lead to lying in other people, because people begin to realize it's easier to come up with little conversational lies than it is to think of what things in one's own life are relevant enough to mention in order to keep a conversation alive. I'm saying me being socially slow is the illness. One person I know likened it to dyslexia but for charisma instead of literacy.
Ah gotcha, that makes sense. Thanks!