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‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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Regarding your last two sentences: it's a chore to do so for 30+ women a day per appwhen it's mostly a negative feedback loop, the more you do it the more you hate that you're doing it because you're trying to be sincere and unique and you're not getting responses, you try to be generic and you get no responses.
If she has a very basic profile with just the basic info, the only thing you can comment on are the pictures (her) and her info.
It can definitely be a chore. And extremely disheartening. But that's the world we live in. And hopefully love in, as my phone autocorrect wanted to say. For you this might be the 20th original message you've written today, but for them this is their first impression of you. Make it count, or you're just self sabotaging.
Also, if you're getting 30+ matches a day, that's a good problem to have. I get like a couple a week, and about half turn into dates. Some I reject, sometimes they reject me. I'm a guy who doesn't date men.
But anyway, I don't really disagree but I always recommend when it starts to feel like a chore that you hate: take a break. The apps will probably always be here. Go outside. See your friends.
I also just don't bother messaging people who don't have anything in their bio/blurb to talk about. The rare times they message me first, it's almost always "hey" tier bad.
I'm not saying I get 30+ matches a day, I'm saying "I send 30+ messages a day on various apps, not just Bumble and get nothing in return". It's like applying for a job. It's spending $35/month in hopes that you get a response.