I don't accept that as an excuse - because if it is a "joke", then it's one that only works if they say this stuff all the time seriously.

It's the species of "it's a joke!" that's serious until someone calls them out on it, then they retreat to claiming it was just a joke.

This is essay worthy in itself. There is this thing I've been thinking a lot about lately around the conflation of the flexibility of language and a flexibility of the definition of words. Just because language evolves it doesn't necessarily mean that the meaning of words can, should, does, change with it. Every time someone says "it's obvious this was a joke" they are fucking with the definition of a joke.