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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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So the culture one grew up in one’s “own” culture. Reasonable definition.
I grew up in Illinois. My mother made stollen each Christmas because she had encountered it in Germany as a traveling 20-something and she kept it.
It’s not my culture as an American, but as a member of my family it is my culture. This kind of thing is why I ask.
If you wanted to participate in the discussion with a less abrasive nature, you could share that story from your mother's perspeyand how it became your own personal culture.
However, I would consider it not to be your culture, but a family tradition. Your culture is more rooted in community than just your own family in my opinion.
I think if you open your mind a little you may discover someone challenging your beliefs can be helpful to a conversation.
That’s part of the culture I grew up in: arguing and challenging each other as part of talking. Feel free to try it out or adopt it.
You know I understand you. That was the way with me too. It took me a long time into adulthood to tone that down as I wasn't making friends and people seemed to think I was an asshole. It really sucked cause I seriously didn't mean any harm or disrespect, but most took it that way for some reason.
Now, after endless questioning of myself, I've learned to adapt to my audience.
I have a really hard time with it because it seems so non-spontaneous. What even is the point of discussing things without disagreement?
I see these conversations that are just people agreeing with each other and I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a part of it.
But I don’t want to be alone.
Err, I don't see a point in disagreeing for the sake of it - I have a similar problem to you though. I get awkward or silent when I don't have anything original, new or even interesting to say, like you are uncomfortable with 'agreement'.
No I don’t disagree for the sake of it. Most conversations I agree with … but I don’t say it. It’s when I disagree genuinely, that I speak up.
Persuasion works best when you work off commonalities rather than differences. Though I understand you're trying to go for combative argumentation.
I know that. I’m a salesman. I don’t talk to my customers like I talk to people here, because when I’m talking to a customer my goal is persuasion.
I am very suspect of persuasion as a motivation for conversing socially. I can do it to make money, but who am I to think that others accepting my ideas is more important than honesty? I might be wrong! If I follow the safe path that makes everybody like me, when will I ever know that I’m wrong?
I’ve always been an outsider. Maybe I always will be, because this always nice stuff just seems slimy to me. It’s exactly how the villains in the cartoons I watched growing up behaved: everybody’s friend, always pleasant, saying the most popular thing.
maybe read up on softening statements
I’ll check it out, thanks
Thank you, by the way
Mmmmm... stollen. Can't go without my stollen on Christmas and I'm American too.