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(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023
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Don't feel too bad, some of us lost teeth through no fault of our own and yet still get the stigma.
This may be the wrong forum for this, but I keep hearing people bitch about wanting men to be more open with their feelings, so sips from whiskey glass here the fuck it goes.
I was seeing a girl circa December 2019. A nurse, in fact. We were basically friends with benefits, we weren't even exclusive. She had this habit where if she didn't want to deal with me right then, she'd make breaking up with me kind of noises. "I don't think it's working out," that sort of thing. Then ten days later I'd get a request for a large dose of Vitamin D.
I started having some tooth and jaw pain. This went on for a couple days, it starts to worry me, I want some reassurance, I text her, I say "I think I need to go to the dentist." "Look, I think it's not working out between us."
The next day a third of my right upper bicuspid falls off.
Two weeks later, I get a text. "Hey I just got a copy of OK Computer on vinyl. Wanna come over and 'listen' to it?" and I show up with that little metal stud they put in the implant to let it heal before installing the crown, and got at least some of our collective rocks off over the next twelve hours. It was late January 2020 by this time, she disappeared into the pandemic not long after that and I haven't heard from her since.
This isn't the only, first or last time a woman who I thought of as a friend, confidant or lover has done something like that, just completely shut me down before I even got a chance to say "It hurts and I'm scared."
"You should be more emotionally available." All evidence to the contrary.
My glass is empty now. Back to the bottle for a refill.
Not at all, dish homie but as a single 35 year old man I have legitimately no answers and certainly not good ones. All I can recommend is talk to people with the relationships you want and try to figure out how they make it work.
I've tried both being emotionally available and being myself rather outwardly unemotional and I've been stabbed in the back both ways. I like to think I'm just looking for the wrong people or the wrong people are looking for me but honestly I'm not quite sure.
As far as I can work out, a man who is cold and hardened isn't entertaining enough, and a man who is emotional and vulnerable is a burden. What women want is performative entertainment; in the words of Phillip J. Fry, "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them."
There was another discussion recently somewhere on the Fediverse about online dating and how utterly terrible it is. I made the point that I've been adequately successful at meeting women in person, but have never once succeeded in online dating. I'm currently single because I don't leave the house. "Why don't I leave the house then?"
I guess because I've had my fill of what's on offer.
I got my front teeth knocked through my upper lip in 2016 and ended up getting paid a handsome sum precisely because it wasn't my fault, and I got myself two implants, a bridge, and a crown thankfully on the NHS. I was eating those little twiglet pretzel things one day and I suddenly felt an extra object in my mouth; it was the bridge. I couldn't go to the dentist with the pandemic on and all that so I ended up getting used to it and not getting it seen to until recently. Lots of people told me it was charming to have a gap, some people said they'd get it fixed if they were me, and I managed to conduct a few relationships. Lucky boy, it seems.
I didn't get so lucky lol, during the pandemic I lost 20 teeth for a reason I won't get into. But I essentially had to walk around with no teeth, no denture, nothing for about 3 months while everything healed.
What can I say but "fuck"!