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submitted 1 year ago by x4740N@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

Masturbate, max out my credit cards on clothes and same-day sex toys, body hair removal, stab myself in the eye with mascara and eyeliner pencil, book tubal ligation, get period stopping birth control, septum ring, mani-pedi, smash gashes with lasses, fuck myself sore.

Day 2 would be a self-care day of cozy sweaters, cocoa, movies, and trying to vibrate my clit off.

[-] Lennnny@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

You just described my weekends.

[-] Zippit@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

You really get it lol. Also, hope you don't wake up on the first day of the periods. Or the 3 days before. Or the 5 days during the period and 2 days after :)

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Day one waking up with an axe wound would not be a great start. I'd probably just have to try out the massage setting on the showerhead and shove some paper towels up there. Then put on sweatpants and a hoodie then run to the store to pickup midol, period supplies, ugly underwear, chocolate, and a vibrator.

[-] Zippit@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I can only describe my periods this way: like someone is twisting a serrated knife constantly in your belly (uterus). Up and down, left, right, up and down... It doesn't stop for 3 days straight...I'm really looking forward to menopause...no amount of painkillers help. But the chocolate and nice people does :)

[-] Nepenthe@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

book tubal ligation

Lol. Lmao. Just the rudest awakening not even 5hrs in.

[-] moistclump@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Oh honey. You’re gonna learn lots real quick.

this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
75 points (75.9% liked)

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