I have no interest in being nice to carnists to be honest; in fact I disagree that it's why "people hate us". They hate us because they know they're wrong, and everytime you eat with them they're reminded of it.

Moreover, I believe being confrontational (which I was above when I assumed you weren't vegan) actually works better than trying to be nice. Humiliating them publicly means they'll immediately react badly, all dialogue will quickly be closed, but they'll be embarrassed and IMO that leads to more reflection on that later on - in other words: for that topic, bullying works. I might be wrong, but I genuinely achieved better success this way.

Don't left perfection be the enemy of progress.

I won't pretend killing creatures for fun is acceptable in any way, sorry.

A hunter that kills a deer once a season isn't buying beef from a packaging plant

Yes they are. I know because my dad used to bag a deer every year. We still ate factory farmed meat, because fun fact, a single deer carcass is actually not big enough to feed a family for an entire year.

People hate us (us vegans, I mean) not because we're rude on the internet, but because we're living proof that humans don't have to eat dead animals. We're proof that it's possible, easy even, to avoid paying for that suffering, and carnists hate that reminder.