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Selfhosted
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I guess first I'd ask is why are you looking for your own DNS server? You can use most any server and host it yourself, things like bind or unbound are out there and baked into a lot of the home-server / domain controller type distro.
When you talk about all your traffic going ng through them, all your traffic won't go through the DNS provider. The DNS is only turning the name to a number, so they would know perhaps the intent to go there but not the actual traffic. You could just be doing a nslookup for fun for all they know. Even hosting your own, whoever is the next in line from your server will get requests for anything your box doesn't have an answer for, so it really only adds a mask to say 'someone asked me to ask you for this address'. That being the case, what's your goal in running one?