Are you obligate to financial support your relative who is not financial stable with your saving ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by hahattpro@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I live with my parents (both). I have job.
I did my share duty: I help pay family electricity/water bill, pay my brothers tution fee.
Currently, my salary is multiple time my living cost, so I can save more than half of my salary (no pay rent, no marry, no children)
My mum has a brotehr who is not financial stable. She help him (few time yearly, not one time, but yearly). She is very stress about this situation. => when she ask me and my dad to chip in, we both said nope, then ask her to give up on that money black hole. => really hurt our family relationship, because she refuse to do so.
That dude (my uncle) have family he has to support. If I chip in with my own salary, his children living standard will increase, they will have better future. It will cost me my spare salary (i will not able save like, 50% of my salary per month)
But I don't want to waste money. That money give away is like charity that I can never get back. I don't want to piggy back few dude on my back for years.

So, how do you think on this case.

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[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Why is he not financially stable?

Does he not have a job? Is he blowing his paycheck on gambling? Hookers? Drugs? (Etc?).

Would throwing cash at him even help?

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Why is he not financially stable?

Because his family is actively working to enshroud him in a false reality where not earning enough results in financial stability.

He has never had the emotional retraining necessary to connect his plans with the dopamine to fulfill them.

Unfortunately for people ruled by their swollen empathy, that emotional training is painful to undergo.

Basically he hasn’t been allowed to experience failure, so his brain hasn’t fully developed.

This happened to me earlier in my life. Then the person enabling me died, and within six months I was homeless, but within six months after that I was transformed and financially functional and have been ever since. No experience other than the natural consequences could have taught me, and there was someone actively preventing me from feeling them.

this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023

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