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How poor is the average American?
(lemmy.ml)
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this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Not to pick on you specifically, but I've never understood the modern generations' seeming aversion to housemates.
I had housemates from after college until 7 years later when I had a wife, starting in the mid-90s. My mom had housemates in the 60s after college (my dad had the GI bill, which afforded flexibility, but had other drawbacks).
It seems weird to me that people these days seem to think that's unacceptable. That's how people do it when they are just getting started. Either that, or they live somewhere less desirable, far from cities, small, old, crappy. Personally I did both... housemates in a rural area in a shitty place. :)
I had roommates for a few years. It was seriously one of the worst times of my life. I have a bit of social anxiety, but I had absolutely no idea how bad it would get with roommates. My roommates were generally pretty friendly and left me alone, but I had an incredibly hard time working up the courage to leave my room to eat or even go to the freaking bathroom. I was so hungry all the time, but I couldn't eat because I was afraid they would see me. I started collecting non-perishable foods and kept them in my room so I wouldn't starve. I also had issues sleeping because I would stay up at night when they were asleep so I could eat. But then lack of enough sleep or food made me paranoid as fuck thinking ghosts were out to get me. I was seriously going insane.
I get that 99.999% of people aren't like this and don't have this issue. But some of us just do really poorly living with others. Once I was finally able to move out on my own, my life changed for the better.
Yes that sounds like a you problem, not a roommate problem. Like the above poster, I had roommates until I had a family, that's pretty standard in all places/times, living alone is an unusual situation. Glad you are able to accommodate your needed living situation though, for sure.
Yeah, my roommates were pretty nice. I was just nutso.
I will say tbf to some people not wanting to have roommates, sometimes people really do end up having a shit situation where their roommate ends up being a shitty person. Those are difficult to navigate. I've known some people who had gotten themselves into that situation and it can be pretty tough.
I would say in general, people in the US seem to think you're a failure if you haven't moved out by 18. But really in many other countries, it's perfectly normal to live with your parents well into adulthood. If you have a good relationship with them, it shouldn't be seen as shameful to do that either.
The aversion to housemates represents a breakdown in social trust in general, plus people are just more precarious. You've got to hope your housemates can pay rent when all of you hold tenuous employment. One person losing their job is a disaster for everyone else. One person moving out can also be a crisis.
I lived with housemates around 2010 to 2016 and it was a constant struggle to keep bills paid, plus we'd have to share vehicles and that was difficult since sometimes one of us would work nights, some of us days. Also revolving door of girlfriends/boyfriends who'd come in and eat our food or borrow cars.
Not great experiences. Honestly some fun times looking back on it all. Was nice to be around friends or do movie nights. But otherwise it was a struggle to keep together.
This may be unpopular to hear... but most of the justifications for not having roommates are like the ones in this thread. People say they can't have roommates because they have social anxiety or other people are just jerks.
To an older person it sounds like "My generation can't have roommates because we don't get along with other people, and they don't get along with us." That's not an economic problem.
It's actually far far more worrying than that. What happens to a generation that has no ability to coexist with other people? What happens to the world when they are in charge of it?
I do see it as an economic problem. Precarity is going to induce loneliness and tension. People are working more hours and there's simply less ability to connect. There are fewer "third spaces" (places outside of work or home) these days, so people have reduced capacity to develop bonds with one another. All of that is going to generate mistrust and lack of friendship among people.
Political tensions are high too, for instance, I would refuse to live with someone who expresses casual transphobic because I wouldn't trust them to be around me.
Furthermore this is a niche internet forum with a lot of nerds who have general social anxiety. Probably not a good cross section of a population.
Yep, moved to a 2 person home after college when my wife, then girlfriend and I got serious. Before then it was a group of friends.
America has gotten more and more individualistic in the sociological sense. Being self sufficient to a ridiculous degree is basically a cult here. Also boomers raised millenials with the expectation of moving out on our own at 18 that was the pressure from our parents.