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Selfhosted
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These are good suggestions. I've heard very good things about zerotier, tailscale, and a couple of open source alternatives that let you run your own coordination server on a static IP.
Point of clarification, a good VPN product gives ACL options that can restrict the tunneled traffic to specific hosts. You doing have to give remote VPN users access to an entire network.
Between these two options, the consequences of doing it wrong might be a little higher when you open up public access like proxy. A little less risk doing VPN or overlay remote access like tailscale.