I bought a switch because I wanted to fit in with everyone else and play party games with friends (fuck family). I played Mario party and I had a good time, it was fun and the RNG was great I had never in my life played a game where it didn’t matter how well you did it could all fuck up at the end which happened MULTIPLE times. I don’t know why I bought a switch because I realized later I could have just purchased the joy remotes for a disgusting 70 dollars but instead I went to my friends house like a fucking doofus showing up with a Nintendo switch under my arm and the device literally dropping onto the floor after it came loose from the dick. “You don’t need to use yours” my friend laughed “we just need one” are you fucking kidding me? “Then why the fuck did you tell me to get one?” Mood changed instantly, not my fault.
I wasn’t having fun at all, I was just thinking “I spent 300 dollars on this piece of shit, that’s 4 grocery shopping days, that’s more clothes, that’s this that whatever anything but this piece of filth Nintendo switch you fucking losers go soy over. So every time it’s my turn I angrily play and I make sure people know I’m angry, it got to a point I rolled so poorly I threw my joycon and left the couch, everyone went quiet but I didn’t give a fuck. One of my friends who has a romantic interest in me (not reciprocated) started rubbing me on my back, “bad day?” They said and I just felt even more angry but this time the anger was directed towards them. “I know you like me but I don’t like you” I said, they cried, left, don’t care, I spent 300 dollars on a piece of shit I’m never going to use.
None of my friends know how to navigate around me so it always feels like they’re hostages trying to ease their way out of the situation where they have a gun pointed at them, it’s pretty selfish of them considering I was the hostage and they were the shooters shooting me with “buy switch” or “Zelda is a good game it’s just like dark souls” or “get one it’ll improve your mood” has it fucking really? Has it improved my mood? What would improve my mood would be if someone paid me 300 dollars to piss shit and set the switch on fire and then throw it at someone playing happily’s head, that would improve my mood. Instead I have to use my adult fingers to navigate around a tiny ass “controller” it’s a fucking joke, just to have fun… your idea of “fun.”
I get Zelda because if it wasn’t clear already I am a dickhead, “it’s like dark souls” that one prick told me, wrong, nothing like dark souls why did I listen to this prick? My life is like dark souls because I have people laughing and lying at me, I’m always losing my SOULS because some MERCHANT “”friends”” tells me to buy this item because it will improve my VITALITY what a load of bullshit. Zelda sucks it looks like a unity project some kid made on the school computers, the story is literally “we repackaged the first game and sold it to you again because you are a loser and keep paying us money.” Tale as old as time for all Nintendo games tbh, smash, Metroid, Mario, Mario kart, sonic, Zelda, insufferable pokemon. I see a lot of people on hexbear talk shit about funko pops as they should, but the moment you condemn pokemon they go off on you like you killed their family. What the fuck, really?
I’ll give it away
Get a Steam Deck
Install RetroDeck
Choose from literally tens of thousands of emulated games to play for free
Don't Steam Decks cost like $800?
Nah, the cheapest one with no oled screen is $400 in the USA. Not super different from the switch price if you consider that you can pirate unlimited free switch games.
Ah in Poland that's no biggie, just a months worth of wages! See? Anyone can afford it!
Seriously though even the cheapest model is so fucking expensive, that when I see someone with it in public (and I do!) I don't think "How cool!". I think of where the fuck did they get the money for it?
There was a big sale a few months ago when I picked mine up. Definitely not cheap. Alternatively there are a bunch of emulator oriented handhelds that have a bit less power and/or are a little more complicated to set up, but are also a lot cheaper.
Nice to see they're coming down in price, they used to be crazy expensive in Aus when they first came out. I remember when a friend of mine showed me his like a year ago. He said it cost him $900. Might just be a weird regional thing tho.
Even $400 is too expensive for me these days. I probably won't get a new console until my potato laptop explodes. Hell, the only reason I have a switch is because my friend gave me his old one a few years back.
Thank god for piracy!
buy them refurbished for like $300 if you don't want OLED. the cheapest OLED is $500, but as people break theirs and/or get bored you'll start finding those refurbisehd too for a good price. get the cheapest one with the screen you want and slap a better NMVe drive in there, or if you're too scared to open it then buy an SD card for it.
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