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this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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Long boring Anecdote time!
Every homeschooling family I know are super republican and are "religious".
Every single child of said families have less than a 6th grade reading level.
One family that got too extreme for my parents to continue being friends with them decided that their daughters book learning was done in fourth grade. After that it was basically home economics without any of the important Financials (because the man handles that, silly, women aren't smart enough!), just basically training a maid to cook and clean and also find a husband. Only a few of her NINE BROTHERS could read the books I was assigned in 5th grade. None of them could read my personal books, as I had a college reading level by 3rd grade, but I'm a super nerd so....
Well sure enough all the boys of that family grew up to be pieces of shit from the interactions I've had with them over the years, and the daughter hasn't been seen in nearly a decade. Ran away the moment she legally could, and I hope she's living her best life away from controlling religious freaks.
My in-laws are "homeschooling" their own children, which amounts to letting them do whatever they want Tuesday and Thursday, and sending them to the church van every m/w/f to be taught by Sunday school teachers. Who of course only talk about creationism. and none of the "graduates" have even heard of Charles Darwin. And also believe humans and T-Rex walked around with each other. Whose fossils were also put in the ground as a test...
Just to pre-empt people putting down homeschooling entirely, my daughter is in online school, which is a form of homeschooling (I still have to be there to help her with schoolwork) and my wife, myself and my daughter are all atheists.
My daughter is in online school because she's an unusual kid with anxiety issues who dares to do things like wear spiked collars, so was at the very bottom of the social pecking order in middle school, meaning that even the bullied kids bullied her. One morning last year, she broke down and said she couldn't handle it anymore. She was already having thoughts of self-harm we knew about and were trying to fix with therapy and medication. The school was doing absolutely nothing to help her. The only private schools here are religious and fuck that.
So there's a state-sponsored free online school option. It's done via Pearson, and they're a horrible company, but it's what we've had to resort to for my daughter's basic mental health. I'm just glad we have the option to do this for her and I'm glad other kids like her have that option. I was pretty severely bullied in middle school too. I had zero friends in my school in seventh grade. The only friends I had went to other schools. I wish I could have done online school in 1989.
We've found a homeschool social group for teens at the public library that meets once a week and a lot of the kids are just weird kids like her. Some of the parents might be crazy religious types, but no one comes off that way.
Like so many things, the good/great reasons for homeschooling have been twisted and perverted by the Christian right (and, in some cases, misguided parents) so that often the optics are for the worst outcomes. If we had it to do over again (20/20 hindsight) we probably would have had a better outcome homeschooling our daughter. We just didn’t see out recognize the shortcomings until it was too late.
Glad you’re able to take an approach to help your daughter’s mental health. Middle school and high school are such difficult times for so many people and its effects can last a lifetime.
Thank you. And definitely about how difficult it can be. A lot of damage has already been done that can never be undone and she still has moments where she breaks down over some minor thing even though she's been out of school for months now. We were originally thinking she could start at a different public school next year, but I honestly don't know how long she will need to heal from this. At least she's overall a happier kid now. Of course, what kid wouldn't be happy when you can do your math sitting at a cafe drinking bubble tea?
We've gone down to a single income because I have to stay home and we're lucky my wife has a good enough job so that we can afford to do that with some sacrifices. I know a lot of parents aren't that lucky, unfortunately. A lot of kids who could use this kind of healing are not going to get it. Their state may not offer it and their parents may not be able to afford it. I wish everyone had an option to do this for their kids if that's what their kids needed.