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A relationship between a 20 yo and a 17 yo isn't unethical. It's not like we magically become more mature once we turn 18.
You kind of do. People change a lot after being in a major new phase of their life for a year.
I'm not going to say 17 and 20 is outright unethical. It's possible for that to have been a freshman and junior in high school who had a long term relationship. They're not required to break up.
But a 20 year old meeting a 17 year old is significantly more creepy, and is likely due to the power imbalance.
What is this major new phase you're talking about? graduating high school? I fail to see how that's related to relationships. Also some people graduate earlier or later.
Is an 18 year old meeting a 17 year old also creepy? Where do you put the limit? Why is a 30 year old meeting an 18 year old suddenly ok?