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this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
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comrade Poseidon
Let's look at the track record:
Caligula vs Poseidon : Poseidon W
Billionaires in submarine vs Poseidon : Poseidon W
European yatchs vs Poseidon : Poseidon W
2 Yankistani SEALs Poseidon? You better believe Poseidon W
I don’t get why it’s always sky gods taking the top spot, ocean gods are scary mf’ers
Sky Gods: Here's some lightning every now and then, maybe a few will hit some people occasionally, I dunno, whatever. Be scared by the thunder I guess.
Ocean God: DROWNING DROWNING DROWNING constant DROWNING crushing pressure FISH PISS
It's cause ocean gods make sense while sky gods are fickle.
"Why'd jaesop drown?" "He went out in a storm, angered the ocean".
"Why'd Aesop get struck by lightning?" "Shit I dunno, better sacrifice a deer or something."
This is too logical a response to be true, but it makes a lot of sense.
Also: imagining a guy who’s super devout to the forest god and goes to pray during a storm. Gets hit by lightning. “Ah shit, we better not pray to the forest god during a storm or sky god gets hella jealous”.
Also I'd say before we invented masonry and agriculture, the sky gods dictates whether you lived or died.
You're stalking prey and the sky gods shift the winds, and your pre-soap body odour gets picked up by the antelope and it runs off? You might be eating lean for the next couple days. Hell, we weren't apex predators, the shift in wind might bring your scent to a pack of wolves or a pride of lions.
A sudden storm knocks down a fence and your goats escape? You haven't paid your dues to the sky gods, remember to sacrifice one next time, if you survive the winter without your herd.
You're arrogant enough to think the sky gods can't harm you because you built a hut of wood and clay? The sky gods will send a Hailstone the size of a large rodent through your thatched roof or strike your hut with lightning.
The sky gods send a drought? Your water holes dry up, you can't find enough plants to forage and the rivers are crowded with thirsty predators and ambushing crocodiles.
because the sky gods leave survivors
dead men tell no tales
That’s a good theory, but I’m toying with the notion that it’s because humans take the ocean for granted since we can’t live there but we always have the sky above us to be reminded of (ignoring those based dudes who love underground, strike the earth)
in one of my favorite book series, Malazan, Mael - the elder god of the sea - spends all day chilling as the manservant of a socialist because 1. he's a funny dude and 2. the other gods are boring. he only takes time off to go wreck some ships or nip the meddling of other gods in the local economy/politics in the bud because his "master" is busy destroying the local currency.
Talk about doing it for love of the game, he’s even drowning the local government in debt.
Those books rule, I tried binging them and burned out somewhere around toll the hounds.