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How to meet people
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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Volunteer work is my go-to answer in these situations.
I'm around 40, am always very busy with work, and I can't hold complex conversations in the language that 95% of the population of my country speaks exclusively. My personal interests are extremely technical, and unusual (bordering on arcane). So meeting new friends is a bit of a challenge for me too.
It was still a very effective way to meet awesome people of all ages, some younger, some older! I even met my wife that way.
I'm in a similar situation, and met my girlfriend of three years that way. We love each other, but communication was sometimes an issue... and I often felt deeply lonely far away from my family and far from anyone who could understand me well.
We broke up last week. I'm going back to my home country. My heart feels like it will never recover. We planned a whole future together. I love her so deeply, but I also felt incredibly lonely in the relationship, and jealous even of other couples who could just talk easily to one another.
I don't know if I've done the right thing. Maybe she didn't need to get all my jokes. Maybe she didn't need to know all my cultural references. Maybe having each other and making new memories together was enough.
I'm broken.
That hits close to home -- I had it a bit easier though. They had emptied my bank account without my knowledge or permission and left me for dead in the developing world, while they ran off to a new country and job they had secretly set up. Robbed their family too.
So at least all the bridges were thoroughly burned and I could focus on rebuilding. That kind of focus is a very powerful tool and I was able to bootstrap myself into a middle class life within a reasonable time. I came to realize how much that relationship had been holding me back.
Nearly died of cholera though. Anyway, the things we don't have the power to change legitimately hurt real bad, but I hope you will one day surprise yourself with how much you can affect the things you do have the power to change.