OSMC on a rpi3 with a hifiberry+ has served me well for many years. Most things just work, even passthrough TV remote over i2c if the TV supports it (brand name for the implementation varies by TV manufacturer I think). My setup has been really slow in recent months, but I probably just need a new sd card... Streaming service integration in kodi isn't perfect but e.g. Netflix works well enough.

It's a bit of tinkering to get it just the way you want it, but not too much and then it's great with a lot of flexibility. I have slapped an IR LED onto a GPIO, for example, and I have a service running that checks for audio output and turns my old hifi system on and off accordingly.

I just want it to be on par with the Roku or it’ll wind up in the trash heap

in the nicest way possible. lower your expectations. or accept the data-selling, or VPN through europe so you can deny the ads.

It seems to me like you've kinda made up your mind and are just waiting for someone to back you up before dropping the cash for the Vero :P

With the criteria you've listed, I doubt you'll find a better solution. I say go for it (as long as you can afford it)!