why are incels frowned/hated upon? (lemmy.world)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by Darth_Vader__@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Obviously I can understand why mysoginists are hated upon, As their belief is all women are trash or men are superior etc. But why are incels also generally hated upon? They are lacking in a way that makes them unable to gey in a relationship, but that shouldn't necessarily mean they are mysoginists, right?

What am I missing here? I haven't ever had a relationship with a woman, but I don't hate all women either. I just consider myself unlucky. Does that make me an incel?

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[-] stoy@lemmy.zip 84 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I am in a similar situation as you, I am 36 and have never been in a relationship, I don't blame anyone, I am a bit sad about it when I think of it, but I can't blame anyone for it, it is just circumstances.

I think that "incels" are defined by their feeling that they deserve a relationship with a woman, that they are being denied what they believe is rightfully theirs and that by just being polite they can convince a woman to fall into their arms.

I don't concider myself an incel, for me based on circumstances if anything I have choosen to not persue a relationship, there are reasons for this, late maturity, being overweight, balding, concern for if I would find a woman who would be fine with me having zero experience in both day to day things as well as intimite moments.

But these are all problems that I have to work on, and I do my best with the tools I have.

[-] Nisaea@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 8 months ago

Fwiw, about the zéro expérience thing, I hope you know that plenty of women would enjoy helping their partner explore how to share pleasure and day to day intimacy with them. Being inexperienced and realistic about it also means you won't have that overconfidence that leads some men to disregard their partner's personal likes, needs and body quirks, and that can be a very reassuring premise.

Source : this old crone was that woman once.

[-] stoy@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 months ago

That is a very good point I had not considered, thank you!

this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024

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