why are incels frowned/hated upon? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by Darth_Vader__@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Obviously I can understand why mysoginists are hated upon, As their belief is all women are trash or men are superior etc. But why are incels also generally hated upon? They are lacking in a way that makes them unable to gey in a relationship, but that shouldn't necessarily mean they are mysoginists, right?

What am I missing here? I haven't ever had a relationship with a woman, but I don't hate all women either. I just consider myself unlucky. Does that make me an incel?

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[-] Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

No, it's telling a young single guy to be patient. The other thing that statistic tells you is that later on you can expect to have a girlfriend who is significantly younger than you, which many guys would actually be happy about.

[-] Redfox8@mander.xyz 1 points 9 months ago

I think the problem with your comment was that you summed it up by saying 'it's simple' when it's a time of our lives when we start to have some freedom to explore our desires (sexual or otherwise) without the control/pressures of home and/or school life. There's also ongoing peer pressures pushing and pulling us about. It is nothing like a simple time in our lives (hence why so many people go online and talk about if, as you highlighted).

Yes, I'd agree with the sentiment to keep treating others well and to be patient (broadly what my approach to life has been, now 45 so older like you), but it certainly isn't easy or simple to do especially when there's a lot of seeing others having what you don't.

[-] Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Sure, and I do agree with you. Being young is really intense and having identities like 'incel' pushed at you doesn't help with that. Saying it's simple might sound dismissive but young guys these days need a bit of hope and encouragement because our culture is doing a particularly bad job of both reflecting the realities of being a typical adult man and of offering a positive vision of what that could be in the future. Each generation of guys has its own challenges (for mine it was alcohol dependence) but with hindsight you can see that all of them do come out the other side with a good haul of girlfriends :)

this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024

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