God I’m so thankful that my SO shares in all of the responsibilities almost perfectly. Sure, there’s a bit that she does more of and a bit that I do more of, but I don’t feel like I’m shouldering it all.

My ex on the other hand, we were just bad for each other all the way around. I worked 60+ hours a week and she straight up just wouldn’t clean. If I didn’t do it, it piled up so bad it was unreal. Dishes, clothes, toys. It was insane.

Living with someone who takes the time to think about what I’m dealing with has totally flipped my life. My ex would wake up and scream about everything. Didn’t matter that I was asleep, didn’t matter how long. The woman I’m with now rarely wakes up before me, but if she does she tiptoes and closes cabinets softly.

She randomly says things like, “you’re the best. Thank you so much for doing the dishes and cleaning the bathtub today.” I feel seen, heard, acknowledged.

It’s wonderful.

I believe that almost any two people can get there with effort and communication. Some people just won’t do that, but if you can change that it changes everything.

Sometimes I’ll get upset because of something my SO does, I tell her about it, if she can stop it she does. Sometimes she gets upset about something I’m doing or not doing. She doesn’t sit and growl about it, she tells me. Bam! Problem solved.

I would rather drop dead right here than live on a world where communication doesn’t happen and my needs aren’t considered.

In defense of my ex, she was way better with the guy she ended up with after me. They got along, kept a neat place, and considered and cared for each other. Unfortunately, some people have to learn the hard way.