I barely know where to start.

One time I was jumping over a table at a summer camp. Just jumping, over and over, sort of spin-kicking over it. It's hard to describe but the important part is that it required a specific approach angle and my torso was more or less horizontal in the air. Then I heard someone say, "Hey, [counselor], watch this!" clearly referring to my jumps. I didn't have time to line up my jump but self-conscious about having an audience, I went any way. I slammed face-first into the far side of the table and crashed to the ground. I was more or less just stunned but being a teenager I bounced straight back up. It was only after I'd left the room in shame that I began to notice the pain in my foot. I'd hit my foot against the floor and broken a bone. Then of course the story circulated that I'd been the one who said, "Watch this!", got everyone's attention, then immediately ate shit.

When I was a teenager I twice broke knuckles punching inanimate objects.

As kids we were playing a game of train on a playground. It's not a well-known game, we made it up on the spot and only played it once, possibly due to how little game there even was and also to how poorly it went. Basically one kid is the front of the train and they have to do a loop of the playground with the other kids in tow, then you change spots. I was in front and my brother got in front of me, which was against the rules. I decided to get back in front of him by sliding across the top of a round-topped tunnel bridge thingy. I slid off the edge and landed on my elbow, breaking my ulna, humerus and dislocating my shoulder. My aunt was a nurse who gave me a shoulder sling with styrofoam cups to keep it protected while we got on the plane. Oh yeah, my aunt was there because she was driving us to the airport to fly across the Pacific Ocean and continenal US that day. I got a temporary cast in LA and finally an X-ray in New Jersey. Thankfully it was the 80s so DVT hadn't been invented yet or else I wouldn't have been allowed to fly due to the risk of embolism.

Also one time playing a friendly game of soccer my foot slipped on a slippy bit of grass, then gripped on a grippy bit of grass and just... rotated. It rotated to a position feet shouldn't be in.

I have since found out that I have a sleep disorder that can result in impaired judgment depending on how poorly my sleep has gone.