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Time: Ukraine Can't Win the War
(time.com)
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It's pretty hilarious how nearly everything you listed as if they're contradictory points actually come together rather comprehensively to support the thesis that Russia is having to fight a belligerent NATO. And the one item that doesn't fit wasn't ever claimed by Russia to be a reason for the conflict.
I don't know what anyone can do for you to cure your confusion when you can't even connect the dots between the very things you are linking.