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Selfhosted
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You totally misunderstood. I'm recommending that you keep your current modem and plug a new router into it. That will give you the control you are looking for.
A new device won't run you £300. If you are ok with WiFi 5 you can get one for about £50
Where would I find a device that could run DDWRT or OpenWRT? WiFi 6 is basically a minimum requirement at this point given I already have a WiFi 6 router and WiFi 6 devices. It would be silly downgrading just for the sake of using WRT.
I don't live in your area so I can't really say. I personally have a Linksys EA8500 that works pretty well but OpenWRT supports about 2000 devices so chances are you can find something that is supported.
Just make sure to avoid Broadcom
https://openwrt.org/toh/buyerguide
https://openwrt.org/toh/recommended_routers