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this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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I started drinking at 13. Blacking out weekly by 15. Full blown alcoholic in 20s. The problem was, I was fairly successful so it was hard for me to admit I was truly fucked up. I managed a good career, family, friends, house, etc. I drank until blackout daily. In late 30s is when the true around the clock drinking started. Morning, noon, night and throughout the night. DT's. Started taking Xanax to fight off the anxiety caused by around the clock drinking. That was it. That's when I lost control. I had a moment of clarity after days of straight blackout during the first month of Covid quarantine. I asked a friend who had been sober for 15 years for help. Went to rehab. Took it seriously. Spend 2.5 months away from my family. Came back determined to live a life of sobriety and focus on family and career. I've got numerous promotions, my family is great and I'm 3.5 years sober and work daily to stay that way.
Tldr; lifelong drunk. Got sober at 40. Best decision I've ever made.
Also managed to be pretty functional while blacking out nearly daily (at my worst), and interestingly enough, the anxiety during the hangovers (which became pretty much any time in between) is also what finally caused me to turn the corner.
Good for you man
Huge desicion to make, I'm proud and I'm sure your family is also.
How did you not lose your wife and job?
I'm good at my very specialized job and alcoholics at the level I was at tend to hide very well.