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Everyone deserves a friend
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this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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But you probably aren't a janitor with $300/mo salary at most.
Where the hell do you live where Janitors are paid $300 a month? Because that sounds like the real problem, not you being friends with them.
Agree. I don't want to solve this problem, I just want to phase out.
But I also don't think you understand that these are two entirely different issues.
Let's say that Janitor was paid $300,000 a year. They're still probably not going to make anywhere near as much as the senior engineer at the company where they clean. That doesn't mean the senior engineer shouldn't befriend the janitor or feel guilty that they make more money than the janitor.
Should janitors get paid more? Absolutely.
Should people who get paid more than them be friends with them? Also absolutely.
Being friends with someone who doesn't get paid as much as you helps you advocate for them to get paid more. After all, you'll never know that the janitor is being underpaid if you don't talk to them about it.
Again, I agree with everything you've said.
But on the interpersonal level it's hard, at least for me, to hold a conversation with a person who earns $300/mo.
What would we talk about? I could've said that I started playing in a theater, learned how to yacht, anything that involves money, because I have them. While they would've shared how they've discovered an old grandma's reflex camera or taught their dogs a new trick. And I would really enjoy the conversation if I hadn't had a malicious feeling of shame inside me, telling me that my yacht lesson costs a week or two of their meal.
How about movies? Music? Books? Politics? Even just how it's a nice day and they hope it's nice for them.
Is material wealth all you talk about to friends? I hope not.
The person in the post just gets their janitor friend a coffee and drinks it with him in the morning. They probably aren't having deep philosophical discussions.
It's about being someone's friend, not their best friend.